[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Thursday, October 26th, 2006|
Why am I so stupid?
I took a test in AP psychology, and I most definately failed it. I have a fucking C. It's so close to a D. And in AP European history, I have a D. Never before in my life have I gotten a D. I went with my friend to see Jet Li's fearless. I really like that movie. It was so sad, I usually don't, but I was tearing up at the end.
AHHH I really like this guy. But he has a girlfriend. I think we would make a really cute couple because he's french Canadian (Quebequois), and I'm french. He's in my french class. I don't understand that he flirts with me all the time, but then he goes saying that his girlfriend is his life. And when I see them together, it awakens a green eyed monster.
I just suck at life. End of story.
I wish I could look emanciated. As crazy as that sounds, I want people to wonder whether I eat or not. I just wish I could be thin and not some fatass freak. My BMI is 17.5, but arnen't you supposed to be thin when it is? Ahh it's so frustrating. I want it so bad. I with I could be under 100 Ibs. Then my BMI would be under 15. Maybe then guys wouldn't think that I'm a repulsive can of pilbury dough that popped open.
But I did learn something new today. This is to all Americans that are French haters. The French helped the Americans gain their inderpendence. If it wasn't for France fighters and fleets, then Americans would have probably never defeated the British. Where might I be getting this proposterous idea? Why that would be my AP European textbook. I just wanted to say that because I'm so tired of people hating on the french. Today at school everyone was going all out of the French and I was like, hello, french person in the room, wanna shut the fuck up? Also, most of the ideas of the American governement, were based on FRENCH philosophe's ideas. So I just want to tell some Americans to stick it. I love America, but assholes like you (ignorant french-hater americans) need to learn your history, because in France, the majority idolized America. We're not like "eww americans *spits*" uhh yeah. no. The most part loves America (except for Bush :P)
|Friday, October 6th, 2006|
Whoa...I'm driving to school this morning, and there are a shitload of cops, every highway entrance and exits are blocked off, when I get to school it's closed.
It turns out that there's been a chemical fire at Apex. I was almost evacuated, but the winds changed, so we weren't. There was a state of emergency called. The fire has been raging from Thursday night 10:30pm.
|Thursday, September 21st, 2006|
|So my neighbor's house blew up
N.C. -- Authorities are investigating whether a hot-air balloon enthusiast's propane tanks played a role in a Thursday morning house explosion and fire in Apex. Investigators said the fire occurred at around 3:20 a.m. Thursday at a home on Piney Woods Lane. Neighbors told WRAL that they heard two distinct explosions. When they went outside, they found pieces of a home scattered across several yards. Much of the home's roof was blown off, and part of the garage landed across the street. The couple inside the home was able to get out safely. Emergency crews treated them at the scene.
According to investigators, propane tanks located in the garage may have ignited, causing the explosion. The owner of the home could be cited for improperly storing the propane tanks, authorities said.
The godamn news helicopter woke me up at 5am! It circled around for hours, that really pissed me off! It was so early and loud.
Their house, is in total ruins. The fire started at around 3:30am, at 1pm, the fire fighters were still putting it out. They had to call firemen from surrounding towns to help. I'm going to go take pictures of the house when the crowd leaves, because it looks so cool. I feel bad for the family though, they lost all their belongings. At least no one died.
Took my senior portrait today, I think it turned out well. I'll post it up here when my pictures are emailed.
|Saturday, September 16th, 2006|
Today in french 5, my teacher made us play a game, it was a how well do you know your classmate type of thing. She paired us up, we only have 6 people in our class, 3 boys, 3 girls, so it works out. It's meant to be paired boy/girl, because it is originally called the 'newlywed game'. I got paired with the guy I like. Yay. So you have to speak in french for 5 min, try to get to know as much as you can about the person, then the guys left the room, while the girls answered questions about themselves. The guys came back in and had to guess the answer the girl put down. And then vice versa. This one question said, How do you think your classmate would describe you? And I put indescisive, because I didn't know what my favorite color was, or what my favorite group was, we basically talked about him, because everytime he asked me something, I was like uhh, I don't know.
Anyways, You guys know what he said?
He said perfect.
That almost made me happy until I remembered he has a girlfriend whom he worships. Also, I don't think he meant it that way. That's just my stupid wishful side thinking that. He just didn't want to be mean and say something like fat, so he said the opposite. I doubt he meant it.
But anyways, we ended up winning the game by one point.
That was my event for the day.
I attempted to fast, but I just suck at everything, so I didn't of course. I'm fat. My stomach is gross and pudgy.
I got new clothes yesterday thought. I wished I was skinny thought because then they might actually look good on me. Anyways, I'll post pics of me in them later. Probably when I've had my period because right now I'm bloated like a balloon, and eating like crazy. That's what I do before PMSing. It sucks!
Thankfully, I'm still 116.0 pounds. I hope to get to 110 by November 15th, and 105 by December 31st. I'm giving myself plenty of time. Hopefully.
|Wednesday, September 13th, 2006|
I think today was one of the hardest days I've ever been through.
My friend died on saturday from a freak accident. At school on monday, many people were crying. Today, was his funeral. I chose not to go. Because, practically everyone at school was going to be there, I just couldn't face it. I don't think it's really sunk in yet. And the fact that we hadn't talked in about a year, we lost touch. I had met him in 5th grade. He will be missed. He was pretty much the most popular guy in school. He was the student body president, he lead us in the pledge of allegiance every morning. Now everyone cries because it's not him saying it. It was just so hard to be in school today.
This death is different than any other students that died at our school. His was the only one that wasn't related to a car wreck. He was a his fucking CHURCH retreat, and his rope snapped from his zip line and fell 46 feet to his death.
I ate so much today, well, more than I usually do.
Nibbled on some random chips (100)
I was so depressed last night that I was going to cut myself, but since it was in the middle of the night, and I was so weak and tired, that I didn't even have the strength to cut and make it bleed. Took me a little longer than usual. I decided to carve something in my skin this time. I wrote 'Ziemlich" on the inside of my left ankle. It means beauty in German. I also could not sleep, so I went to make an ana bracelet. Well, my red string is ugly, so I made another bracelet. A white and silver one. It means control. I love it.